WHY CHANGE?

According to Wikipedia, A hero is a real person or a main fictional character who, in the face of danger, combats adversity through feats of ingenuity, courage, or strength. Are you looking for a Hero to come save you? Go look in the Mirror. He/She is right there waiting to be released. YOU ARE POWERFUL YOU!

I didn't believe in real Hero's either until I got out of my own way and owned the truth that we control our destinies and we manifest our experiences. We are born with Divine Power, It is within us. We are more than Ego. We are Soul. We are our own Creators. We use our Power to create our own living hell through thoughts of lack, scarcity, playing small, not enough, etc., or our own epic tale of a life of happiness, of peace, of abundance, of joy. Many of us weren’t taught we hold the keys to live a life we hear the call to live. Instead, we were taught to suffer for the sake of making someone else happy or to judge ourselves, or to go as far as to damn ourselves (in this life) for the innate thoughts of wanting joy and abundance in our lives when others don’t have it and are suffering. Taught beliefs of less than, of Victimhood ( to someone else or Something else- including a higher power who was to damn us for our ego and innate desire to want more) - Your stories, your friends stories, your Ancestral stories and even societies stories CREATING limiting, lacking, judgmental lacking thoughts. All the while your Soul is crying for the experience it came here for; to Learn, Play, Expand, Experience Joy and overcome sorrow. By becoming your own Hero, you become an Emotional Intelligence Master©. A Master of observing your thoughts, your feelings, your actions, and your reactions and deciding if they are creating the life you desire to experience. A Master of going deep into your subconscious to see what needs released or rescripted, in order to be able to create the life you want. 

I played Victim most of my life, up until 10 years ago. I had constant thoughts of fear, of lack, of scarcity, of being less than pretty much anyone, of needing to play small and let people do what they wanted in order for them to feel better about themselves. I didn't have boundaries on how I should be treated unless they became dangerous for me physically or mentally. I was raised in what would have been labeled a "normal household". A Dad that worked for the same company his entire life and a Mom that stayed home and raised 6 children all born within 10 years, me being the youngest. My Dad moved out the day after my 18th birthday and my Mom had the second nervous breakdown in her life (the first being when I was 6 and she found out my Dad was having an affair). I wasn't raped. I wasn't "abused" as a child. I was, however, mentally, emotionally, and physically abused from the age of 18-22 by my boyfriend, at the time. He had his own stories. I had mine. But, what would be considered trauma to some, I did not experience growing up. Yet, I was taught things that would create a life of suffering for years until I realized I HAD THE KEYS ALL ALONG TO CHANGE MY LIFE. To name a few of these beliefs that were running subconsciously for years; I was taught that dreams were just dreams and in order to be successful I needed to work myself into the grave. I was taught that everyone had power over me - men, women, teachers, God - everyone. If I didn't go by what was said, I would suffer - either by getting into trouble (which scared the shit out of me) or even worse, going to Hell. That created a Woman that had a Soul crying to be heard and seen, but afraid that she was going to be damned for eternity by saying she had Power to create her own life; instead of idling waiting to see if she earned good enough favor to be rewarded. Of course, by having those feelings deep inside, I was always ready for the bad to happen because I was not wholeheartedly going by what I was taught. I ended up being really pissed. I was angry. I pushed and got hit back down (because I brought in people to "keep me in my place" - the place I was taught I should be in) , I fought and lost, I played Victim, I had bad relationships as I handed over my Power of my own Self Love to someone else and it failed, obvious to me now. I was full of anxiety. Whenever something good happened, I was in "freeze" mode being certain the other shoe was going to fall. Just like my childhood, on the outside I looked like I was living a good life but on the inside, I was falling apart. It was time. I couldn't live like that anymore. I was unhappy, anxious, sick from stress, and tired of bouncing around reaction to reaction. 

That was over 20 years ago. On this Spiritual Journey of reconnecting with the Divine Power I was born with (that we are all born with), I have become an Emotional Intelligence Master ©. I play within the shadows of my subconscious thoughts and beliefs and CHOOSE what stays and what gets rescripted to fit the life I desire to experience. I have turned my life into a life of no longer being the Victim but being my own Hero. 

Yes, contrast happens. Problems show up. Some are my own creation as I see an old belief pattern showing up which allows me to see something has shown up for me to look at. Its Emotional Intelligence Mastery ©. Some contrasts are not of my creation. Like, my oldest sibling - my sister, (whom I was so close with that my Mom joked that she stopped at 6 because she started to repeat personalities LOL), died at the at of 60 due to her stories. She died of bronchial phenomena but her body had shut down to alcoholism and it couldn't fight the infection. She had a Masters in Behavioral Psychology and was an amazing soul that gave her heart and soul to people less fortunate that couldn't live on their own. She gave them purpose and that gave her purpose. Unfortunately, the stories we tell ourselves don't go away as we help others. And she had her own journey to live. With being handed that contrast, I had to do my Soul Work; I had to grieve, I had to forgive, and I had to see if there was anything I could learn from it. I could've gone down the same road and played the card of Victim - believe me, I wanted to but I knew that was not going to allow me to live the life I was called to life. By doing my Shadow work, being aware of where I handed over my power of my emotions, becoming best friends with my Soul, I was able to grow from that horrible experience. I have forgiven her. I have forgiven myself. I have her now as a Spirit Guide. Emotional Intelligence Mastery ©; I found the growth in the contrast. That is being your own Hero. That is what I wish for you.